poor santa

This Gentleman was by far the most exhausted Santa Claus I have ever seen. I felt awful for him... I commented to the cashier that Santa looked tired and she confessed that Santa has been working open to close shifts every day since Thanksgiving. His voice was weak and scratchy... and Bless him he looked eternally freaked out when Cameron had his camera in his face.

I have been given a lot of criticism about cutting Jesus out of Christmas. Not because I don't find the baby Jesus adorable and amazing and peaceful.... but Christmas is about Santa Claus to children.... and if you think that 99% of Christian kids out there wouldn't reply that Christmas is about Santa you are in fact delusional.

When they are a bit older I will explain.... but for right now I don't want to put Jesus inside the make believe box that Santa Claus lives in.

has a blog

2 hours of sleep last night... how mother fucking glorious i feel right now, i have an angelic sleeping toddler here and a snoring dog. and me. exhausted as usual.

i sleep a lot.

i just read over old emails from 5 yearsish ago and older and i have realized yet again how awful my health is and how awful i look. i badly i crave health insurance. should be simple. thanks a lot america.

i finally came to the realization that i am not going to get my hearing back, this weekend at the rabbit show i had to do the paperwork. the judge called out the ear numbers and i had no idea what he said. people were talking next to me.... and of course me (who people are always being so damn funny and annoying) had to be real sweet and quiet and desperate looking and ask them to be quiet. i was mortified. of course i always try to make a joke out of it. but i know understand that nothing in my life that i contribute to is funny.....going deaf at 29 hooray. i realize their could be worse things, i do after all have working limbs, yet no energy to use them.

i take joy in as much as i can. i have working arms and legs, i have a job, i have healthy children.

i feel like i don't have to have forgivness for anything shitty i have done to them in my life, if they do choose to forgive me... great, but i am not seeking anything from anybody.

and in turn i don't think everybody deserves my forgiveness either.

bitchy,

T.L.H.R.