i sleep a lot.
i just read over old emails from 5 yearsish ago and older and i have realized yet again how awful my health is and how awful i look. i badly i crave health insurance. should be simple. thanks a lot america.
i finally came to the realization that i am not going to get my hearing back, this weekend at the rabbit show i had to do the paperwork. the judge called out the ear numbers and i had no idea what he said. people were talking next to me.... and of course me (who people are always being so damn funny and annoying) had to be real sweet and quiet and desperate looking and ask them to be quiet. i was mortified. of course i always try to make a joke out of it. but i know understand that nothing in my life that i contribute to is funny.....going deaf at 29 hooray. i realize their could be worse things, i do after all have working limbs, yet no energy to use them.
i take joy in as much as i can. i have working arms and legs, i have a job, i have healthy children.
i feel like i don't have to have forgivness for anything shitty i have done to them in my life, if they do choose to forgive me... great, but i am not seeking anything from anybody.
and in turn i don't think everybody deserves my forgiveness either.
bitchy,
T.L.H.R.
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