I know.

The thing about it is this.... Most people blog about what they know, or what annoys them.

So I am going to tell you all what I know.

I spent the last night cruising the Austin TX Hair Salon scene and got very overwhelmed. Of Course I picked the wrong career If I didn't want to be judged on my looks. Like most other women that have 2 kids I would not consider my figure flattering at all. I have quite a time finding shirts that don't scream "hey are you pregnant?". Granted I am at the lowest weight that I have been in 2 years..... But the damage has been done.

I have not contacted anybody yet as it is really to soon to try and nail something down, I just hate the very idea of working in any kind of stepford salon. By that I mean that every stylist looks the same. Some hire Busty Blondes while others there is an arm tattoo pre hiring requirement. I don't consider myself stylish at all in the fashion department and I never have been. I purchase everything I wear at the thrift store. If I like what I looks like than I buy It... But I couldn't tell you if it is the right look for the current scene at the moment. I just want to do hair, I am damn good at it. I wonder if I will be given that chance. And then I shake my head and try to accept the fact that because of the above information I will likely end up at the mother effing mall again.

So on to offering my expert advice... don't ever wear your hair like this....

I am so serious when I tell all of you that this is not a joke. Douchebags think this haircut is hot. When I was living in NY I has to sell my soul to Satan and give people this haircut (and then of course followed by a wax) I always had to warn that tanning was out of the question for 24 hours.

And on to scene hair.... we can thank hailey williams for creating this..... and here is the thing... I can do these haircuts with my eyes closed. A lot of times it looks pretty damn cute.... but the following idiots need to understand when enough is enough. Here are some perfect awful examples:

TOO DAMN BIG AND TOO DAMN DUCKFACE

While I give full marks for matching your weave to your hair color...

going to Sally's and buying 2 slices of 60 inch hair does not do the trick.

HEINOUS.

I sat and looked at this one wondering if it was meant as a joke.

want to see a nice modern classy example.. how any of you with this cut could reclaim your hair integrity???

look below at one I did myself...

Short over directed layers with loads of texture. HOT HOT HOT

Now for another mess of a trend that needs to die...

the "BRO HAWK"

"Hey Bro I like your hair Bro." "Thanks Bro"

If you want a mohawk, grow a pair and have an actual mohawk.

But I will leave you all with a final word of caution....

if you want your hair to look like this:

you should know that if you start combing your hair in that whirlpool same direction you are only a stones throw away from becoming this:

which is a stone's throw to this:

you've been warned.

thank you and goodnight